Friday, February 03, 2006

The Super Bowl--Not a Game for Farmers

POSTED BY BK


So it's Super Bowl Week. Big matchup between Seattle and the Curtain. Big Deal. It's been so long since there has been a game that you hardly care about it at this point. Nevertheless, my mantra has always been, "It's Football and It's on TV." So with that being said, I started to put some plans in motion for the game on Sunday. Since, I have limited friends in Chicago (or anywhere for that matter), this consisted of an email to my friend Evan (EG). This was forwarded to my friend, Scott (Boob) (for more on The Boob see http://notinbookershouse.blogspot.com/2006/01/my-date-with-boob.html). Lo and behold, a Super Bowl Party was in place (with this group it's more like a minion, but whatever). EG and I manipulated the plan so we could go to Boob's place for 2 reasons. First, he has a great TV and second (and about 100x more importantly), his wife Maxine's cooking would make Daniel Boulud envious. (I've said this many times, but the Boob's weight will be well north of 300 lbs before his 35th birthday. He will wear it well though). So we've got a location, good TV, fine eats, good company (myself, being the exception), the only thing I needed to find out is what time do these festivities begin??? Here is what I found out when I checked ESPN.com.......

5 PM Kickoff!!!! Who do these Super Bowl people think we are?? Gravediggers?? Rock Stars?? Do I work at NORAD?? By 7 PM, I'm ready for a warm glass of Bosco and to slip under the covers (Thank you, Frank Drebin, for the excellent suggestion). Mind you the Super Bowl has always started at this time and since I can tell you where I watched every Super Bowl since Super Bowl XV** (Philadelphia vs. The Raiders, I was 5 years old and watched in my parent's bedroom with my Dad and Jac Roth(Hail to the Chief)), I am, of course, intimately familiar with this fact. However, this is my first Super Bowl with a child. So again, I ask the question, 5 PM Kickoff??? Are we all bouncers at the Excalibur????

Now I know there has been a longstanding issue in the media about the World Series and the NBA Finals (to a lesser extent) starting at late hours. These games are the equivalent to the late night Pac 10 Games on Fox Sports or Great Alaska Shootout games to me. There is a better chance they'll still be going on when I get up in the morning, than there is that I'll be awake when they start. The Super Bowl starts at 5 PM, so most would suggest that this rant is unjustified. I disagree. First of all, the game lasts about 6 hours. Second (and next time you see me, i'm begging you, please slug me in the mouth for saying these words), I have a daughter that adheres to a 7 PM bedtime. On a good night, I'm out cold by 8ish. My friend, EG, shares the same dilemma with his daughter. Boob, although childless at this point, is ready to move down to Del Boca Vista on a moment's notice, so clearly he'll be struggling to keep his eyes open during the second half. So the question was, what are we to do??? Since I don't have either Paul Tagliabue or the President of ABC on my speed dial, I needed to get creative. I called EG to consult with him. Here is what we came up with:

THE PARTY IS OVER AT HALFTIME!!!! I want to take it one step further though. For our purposes, the game should be over at halftime!!! Instead of betting on the outcome of the game, I'll bet on the outcome of the first half. I'll bet the first half total. My prop bets--first half only. Squares will run through 2 quarters only.Considering the Super Bowl runs twice as long as a normal game, I will still be getting my money's worth. So with that being said, my pick for the Super Bowl (drumroll, please).................

SEATTLE BEATS THE CURTAIN 10-6 (This is my halftime prediction, but in my brain this is the final). The Seahawks will be crowned champions. In my mind, Matt Hasselbeck will be anointed the MVP. If I ever pass Mike Holmgren on the street over the next couple years, I will douse him in Gatorade for this crowning achievement (of course, I'd probably do this regardless). It will be irrelevant to me that the Curtain come back and win 23-13. The Seahawks are champions of the National Football League! Congratulations to the City of Seattle!

**Footnote: Under no circumstances should you read this next part (unless you suffer from severe insomnia). I reiterate, DO NOT READ THIS PART! This is a list of where I watched all of the Super Bowls since I was old enough to remember and some notes on my memories. I'm going to put it in smaller print, because this couldn't possibly be interesting to anyone but me. Seriously, I'm not trying to be sarcastic or humorous right now, if you're planning on reading this post to its conclusion, I can not give you the 3 minutes of your life you are about to waste back.....

Super Bowl XV: Philadelphia vs. Raiders--as mentioned earlier, my parent's bedroom with Alan Kaplan and Jac Roth. Jac Roth is about 40 years my senior, but was my closest friend until I was about 15 (no disrespect to Jon Stillman). My brother, Benji worshipped Ron Jaworski as a 3 year old for some bizarre reason, so this was a pretty tough pill for him to swallow.

Super Bowl XVI: San Fran vs. Gallies--my parent's house (family room). This game was actually in Detroit and my Dad had 8 tickets which he sold (see my post on why I'm not a fan of a professional sports team for additional insight http://notinbookershouse.blogspot.com/2006/01/why-im-gruff-fan-and-not-lions-fan.html, but lets just say that this was very disappointing to me at the time, but upon reflection, a very logical and admirable move by my Dad, AK). This was the follow up to the NFC Championship Game where Joe Montana threw the catch to Dwight Clark (which I witnessed at my parents' former friends, the Sallen's, house).

Super Bowl XVII: Hail to the Redskins vs. Fish--Scott Schneiderman's house. I remember sitting on their fireplace and being surprised by Washington's dominance. One thing about going to Peter Schneiderman's house--there are going to be M and M's and there are going to be lots of them. As a 7 year old, you can't ask for much more than that.

Super Bowl XVIII: Raiders vs. Hail to the Redskins--my parent's family room. Big game by Marcus Allen.

Super Bowl XIX: Fish vs. San Fran--my cousins', the Shefmans, house on Commons Road (before Dudley was even conceived). I was a big Mark Duper, Mark Clayton, Marino fan and disappointed that Miami crapped out in this one. My 4th grade bookie tried to have my legs broke in the aftermath.

Super Bowl XX: Bears still Suck vs. Pats--my parent's family room. I think Craig James was NE's RB. Is it any wonder this result was so lopsided?

Super Bowl XXI: Gints vs. Denver--Shefman's house off of Pontiac Trail. Judi Shefman made great appetizers, highlighted by that salami that she glazes with grape jelly. Judi, if you're reading this, please email the recipe to
brad@chicagosunset.com. Much appreciated.

Super Bowl XXII: Washington vs. Denver--my parent's family room. Doug Williams exploded all over our television.

Super Bowl XXIII: San Francisco vs. Cincy--my parent's family room. How did Boomer Esiason get to the Super Bowl? One of the few good Super Bowl games from my childhood.

Super Bowl XXIV: San Fran vs. Denver--Robbie Krut's house. Montana was just toying with teams at this point. The Krut's had several grandfather clocks in their home that always seemed to be going off. This was also when the Bud Bowl was at its peak (probably Bud Bowl 2 or 3). My Dad was in the liquor business at the time and was able to get the results a few days before the game. I was able to fleece my friends wagering on it, but felt guilty, came clean and never collected my winnings.

Super Bowl XXV: NY Giants vs. Gruff--Adam and Dan Beltzman's den. This was the first of 4 straight Gruff losses. A dark time in my life. Plus, it was tough to watch 4 hours of TV in a 6 x 8 room with Murray the Dog (his actual name was Mickey--God Bless You, Herms).

Super Bowl XXVI: Gruff vs. Skins--my parent's family room. Beyond that I have no recollection of this game. I think this is because the Lions somehow got to the NFC Championship game that year (where they were quickly disposed of). This was the pinnacle of my Lions fandom and probably why I've blocked out the memory of this game.

Super Bowl XXVII: Gruff vs. Cowboys--Scott Gould's house. The only time I was ever invited to Scott Gould's house. I wonder if I did something to offend him???

Super Bowl XXVIII: Gruff vs. Cowboys--Freshman year of college. I want to say either mine and Beltzman's suite in the Towers or Forman's room in the Towers. Possibly the AEPi house. I was drinking too much Molson Ice in those days to remember too clearly.

Super Bowl XXIX: Niners vs. Chargers--Dave Garfin's room in the AEPi house. We ordered enough BW-3 to feed a 3rd world country. San Fran was favored by around 24 points and they still easily covered. Fun betting night. This was also the same year of the "BET THE KNICKS" debacle where our whole fraternity house parlayed the Knicks -2 against the Hornets (thanks to Jack Price's Betting Service) with the entire NBA board. Needless to say the Knicks lost by 20. Good memories.

Super Bowl XXX: Cowboys vs. Curtain--Mine and Adam Shane's flat in London. This game came on live around 2 in the morning. Can't remember if I won or lost quid that year.
Our friend, Tunis, was sound asleep hours before kickoff (You Woman!!!).

Super Bowl XXXI: Pack vs. Pats--619 Langdon apartment. One of those gambling nights you remember forever. The house went down when Andre Rison scored the opening TD at 10:1 odds. Also hit the 3rd quarter over on Desmond Howard's kickoff return for a TD the last play of the quarter. This ended with a riotous party on State Street in the freezing cold. "When you say Wisssssconsin, You said it All!" Seriously.

Super Bowl XXXII: Denver vs. Pack--Scott Miller and Jeremy Jacobs apartment on the El on Armitage and Bissell. Shapiro was in town from NYC. We were so confident in GB that we took the whole party's action on Denver. Got crushed. Polar opposite of the previous year. Welcome to the Real World, Gents.

Super Bowl XXXIII: Denver vs. Falcons--Dave Alpern and some guy named, Philly's???, apartment in Lincoln Park. I remember they brought in folding chairs for extra seating (a nice touch). This was probably the greatest winning night in history for me from a gambling standpoint. I had a list of bets as long as the Declaration of Independence. Seriously, 90% of them hit. 2 that I remember were having Elway to score the first TD of the second half via run (this paid like 25-1) and Denver to win by 13-18 points (Final Score Denver 34-19). It's been all downhill ever since. I even won the squares like 3 times that night.

Super Bowl XXXIV: Rams vs. Oilers--my apartment with Frish and EG on Kenmore. Dave Garfin and I split a square for an obnoxious amount of $$$ and had that Oilers guy scored on the last play, it would have been interesting. Clearly, I've gotten over it.

Super Bowl XXXV: Giants vs. Ravens--My first and only Forman Super Bowl Party. Yes, it really is as good as advertised. They stuff you with shrimp cocktail, Nana's tuna and chicken nuggets. You sit in a food coma thinking you're not going to eat until Tuesday or Wednesday and out of nowhere, mid 2nd quarter, Fern comes out with enough Ribs and Fried Chicken to feed Terry Denton Burton's entire family at their annual summer reunion. Good stuff. Todd's friend, Jon Cohen (Jonco), is a key player in creating the aura to this party. I pride myself on having a lot of interesting action on the Super Bowl, but he had bets that had me shaking my head in disbelief. Also, the fix is clearly in for Grandma Bea, who made enough money on squares and miscellaneous side bets to get herself a new Cadillac. It's universally understood that the fix is in, but the Forman's put on such a great event, you don't even care.... As far as the game, we were with a bunch of Giants fans and Garfin and I were the only one's objective enough to realize that Baltimore was the second coming of the 85' Bears. A good gambling night.

Super Bowl XXXVI: Rams vs. Pats--Benji and Goldie's townhouse in Chicago. Loaded on the Rams -14 and they lose straight up. Prior to this game, I thought Tom Brady was the second coming of Todd Collins or Elvis Grbac. Who knew?

Super Bowl XXXVII: Tonka Bay vs. Raiders--Kristyn and I moved into our condo that weekend and had no furniture. I remember unpacking boxes all night and watching the game standing up. If that's not sad enough, I hit the Raiders and T Bay had their way with them. A forgettable evening.

Super Bowl XXXVIII: Car vs. Pats--EG invited Boob and I over to watch this. He failed to mention that he was also having every person that he and Jenny ever met from High School, Undergrad, Law School, B School, Price Waterhouse, William Blair, Winston Strawn or just passing by on the street. This is because EG is a smart guy and knows that I loathe interaction with people I don't know (I barely tolerate interaction with family and friends) and knew I wouldn't have shown up in a million years. I think I had the Pats that night to compound matters and Car made that ridiculous push at the end to cover. Crappy night, but thanks again for having me.

Super Bowl XXXIX: Eagles vs. Pats--EG and Jenny's again. The only reason I went back was because Jenny was like 11 months pregnant and I was reasonably confident they wouldn't have an encore from last year. I had the Eagles (who covered), but I think I had the Under (unduraggggga) and the Over hit (which they can't take away from you). God, I'm a dope.

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