SHOO BE DOO WOP
POSTED BY LINDSAY, GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
I am not a superstitious person. You won't find me avoiding cracks or crying about a mirror I broke five years ago. I do strongly believe however, that since I left college I have developed the curse of the bad hangover. Don't get me wrong. At least 75% of my college experience was spent nursing Mango Madness Gatorade. Unfortunately, Gatorade, Kirkland Ibuprofen and french fries do nothing but frustrate me when it comes to the chronic headaches I am currently awoken with at least twice a week. Exhibit A: Last weekend my parents were in town and instead of enjoying the potentially great hangover lunch I could have ordered at Lux Bar, I used all of the strength in me to keep from vomiting in my chicken noodle soup. I've examined the possibilities. Sure I'm getting older, I can't even fathom the idea of downing the Bacardi Limon shots that I took like water in high school. I think at one point I could've actually mistaken the vile liquor for water. I decided when I moved to Chicago that it was time to leave the After Shock and Mumms (even though you can buy a whole bunch of it) in the past. My new idea was to go to the most expensive bars in the Gold Coast and order $12 Kettel on the rocks. I figure, why not spend my hefty babysitting salary on these extravagant cocktails, I'm an adult now. Why is it then, that I cannot shake these headaches and painful nausea waves? Reverting back to the examination of my history of drinking, I realized that my first two years of college intoxication were almost entirely provided by the filthy Kool Aid, Everclear mix commonly known at Indiana as Jungle Juice. I've now been tortured into referring to it as Wop, due to nameless Badger influences. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, and if that's the case, you obviously were a loser in college, Wop is most often served at fraternity parties out of a large garbage can. Aside from the Kool Aid and Everclear, there are usually traces of pledge urine and broom stick bacteria, used to stir the disgusting concotion. Why, I wonder, does this grain alcohol that costs less than half a Kettel cocktail at Rockit never bring me the headaches that presently torture me every weekend? It is now my latest mission to bring Wop cocktails into bars all over Chicago so I can remember my college days when Saturday's consisted of nothing but looking forward to 9:00 pm when I could begin drinking again. Aside from these new Wop cocktails, (I'm going to encourage the "Wop on the rocks"), I have developed some other new drink ideas that I think you might find amusing.
-The Yoo Hoo Martini
-The Ice Cold-(a drink so cold that you have no idea what's in it, you're too distracted by the frigid temperature)
-Any alcohol mixed with Welch's grape juice (it's a very underrated juice)
-The Vodka Salt- (vodka mixed with salt instead of juice, tonic, ice, etc)
*Note to readers: Don't attempt to steal my ideas, I'm planning on having all of them copyrighted this week.
I am not a superstitious person. You won't find me avoiding cracks or crying about a mirror I broke five years ago. I do strongly believe however, that since I left college I have developed the curse of the bad hangover. Don't get me wrong. At least 75% of my college experience was spent nursing Mango Madness Gatorade. Unfortunately, Gatorade, Kirkland Ibuprofen and french fries do nothing but frustrate me when it comes to the chronic headaches I am currently awoken with at least twice a week. Exhibit A: Last weekend my parents were in town and instead of enjoying the potentially great hangover lunch I could have ordered at Lux Bar, I used all of the strength in me to keep from vomiting in my chicken noodle soup. I've examined the possibilities. Sure I'm getting older, I can't even fathom the idea of downing the Bacardi Limon shots that I took like water in high school. I think at one point I could've actually mistaken the vile liquor for water. I decided when I moved to Chicago that it was time to leave the After Shock and Mumms (even though you can buy a whole bunch of it) in the past. My new idea was to go to the most expensive bars in the Gold Coast and order $12 Kettel on the rocks. I figure, why not spend my hefty babysitting salary on these extravagant cocktails, I'm an adult now. Why is it then, that I cannot shake these headaches and painful nausea waves? Reverting back to the examination of my history of drinking, I realized that my first two years of college intoxication were almost entirely provided by the filthy Kool Aid, Everclear mix commonly known at Indiana as Jungle Juice. I've now been tortured into referring to it as Wop, due to nameless Badger influences. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, and if that's the case, you obviously were a loser in college, Wop is most often served at fraternity parties out of a large garbage can. Aside from the Kool Aid and Everclear, there are usually traces of pledge urine and broom stick bacteria, used to stir the disgusting concotion. Why, I wonder, does this grain alcohol that costs less than half a Kettel cocktail at Rockit never bring me the headaches that presently torture me every weekend? It is now my latest mission to bring Wop cocktails into bars all over Chicago so I can remember my college days when Saturday's consisted of nothing but looking forward to 9:00 pm when I could begin drinking again. Aside from these new Wop cocktails, (I'm going to encourage the "Wop on the rocks"), I have developed some other new drink ideas that I think you might find amusing.
-The Yoo Hoo Martini
-The Ice Cold-(a drink so cold that you have no idea what's in it, you're too distracted by the frigid temperature)
-Any alcohol mixed with Welch's grape juice (it's a very underrated juice)
-The Vodka Salt- (vodka mixed with salt instead of juice, tonic, ice, etc)
*Note to readers: Don't attempt to steal my ideas, I'm planning on having all of them copyrighted this week.
Labels: POSTED BY LINDSAY KAPLAN
posted by Lindsay at 3:23 PM
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