Dora The Explorer--A Critical Analysis

POSTED BY BK

A morning in the life of Yours Truly goes something like this:

-Alexis wakes up between 6:30 and 7:00 AM

-I then wake up between 6:31 and 7:01 AM (on the good mornings the other 250 or so unit owners in our building wake up also)

-A bottle and diaper change ensue

-The next hour is spent doing a myriad of activity (god bless the fine people at Fisher Price, Baby Einstein, LeapFrog, etc.)

-At 8:00 AM sharp the 2 of us proceed to watch Dora the Explorer together, before I leave for work

This is an activity that Alexis loves and I'm not ashamed to say that it is a guilty pleasure of mine also. For those not familiar with the show, 7 year old Dora, spends roughly 22 minutes roaming the forest/jungle with her trusty sidekick, Boots the Monkey. Normally, their adventure involves traveling from Point A to Point D, while passing through Points B and C, to get to their intended destination. I don't have any real issues with this per say, other than I don't find it entirely plausible that Dora can make it from her home (where is her home anyway? Mexico? South America? The West Side of Chicago? Somebody tell me--I'd really like to know!!!) to a destination such as the South Pole on foot in 22 minutes (there are no commercials, but still?). Now there is no question that Dora sets a good example for your children, but I'm not quite sure what kind of example Dora's parents (Sr. and Sra. Marquez) set for me as a parent, letting their 7 year old roam aimlessly around the jungle unsupervised without a care in the world. Nevertheless, I'm willing to give the creators a pass, given that 1) I'm probably not their target audience and 2) the music is catchy, the dancing is good and the animation is substantially better than the Superfriends cartoons I watched 25 years ago.

All of that said, I watched an episode the other morning (Tuesday, I believe) that I found totally implausible and I felt compelled to point out some of my issues with this particular show. The episode started out with Dora's extended family gathered around their family room preparing to watch a nationally televised soccer match. It was reminiscient of that scene in Jerry Maguire where Rod Tidwell's family watches him take a career ending hit and immediately resurrect his career all during one half of Monday Night Football. Instead of Tidwell, the family on Explorer was gathering to watch Dora's 15 year old cousin Daisy play in this particular soccer game. After the ceremonial handshakes, the referee was ready to get play underway when the show took an unexpected turn. It turned out that Daisy's team was short a player and the referee was pushing for them to forfeit the game. At this point Daisy looked directly into the camera and, like the Diving Coach in Back to School, said something to the effect of "Mellon, We Need Ya, Get Your Suit On!" (She really said, "My cousin Dora can play soccer"). So now we've got a capacity crowd at this Soccer Stadium, not to mention what I have to assume is a large television audience, waiting around for Dora to show up to start the game (I don't know who the advertisers were for this soccer telecast, but one has to suspect they were pretty livid. Also, from what you hear about soccer crowds, there is almost a 100% chance that a riot would have ensued). Dora, meanwhile, is taking her sweet time pondering if she should participate in this game. Her parents, while encouraging her to go play, certainly aren't doing anything productive to help (such as offering her a lift to the stadium). I would think a police motorcade would be available to her in a situation such as this. Nope--she is just pushed out the front door, where her and Monkey friend, Boots, are now responsible for meandering to the stadium at a snail's pace, without a care in the world. One big problem though (a recurring theme in all the episodes), THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE STADIUM!!!! Fortunately for Dora (and the hundreds of thousands of people waiting for this game to start), she has her trusty friend, The Map (or Map), to provide directions.

Now a few words about The Map: while he has a good disposition and a nice enough singing voice, he's perhaps a little cocky based on the quality of directions that he provides. As I mentioned earlier, Dora and Boots, at times travel pretty long distances. If they were going from, say Cleveland to Pittsburgh, I'd tell them to go to Yahoo Driving Directions and their directions would look something like this:

Directions

1.
Starting in CLEVELAND, OH on W SUPERIOR AVE go toward PUBLIC SQ - go 0.1 mi
2.
Turn Right on ONTARIO ST - go 0.6 mi
3.
ONTARIO ST becomes BROADWAY AVE - go 0.1 mi
4.
Take Left ramp onto I-77 SOUTH toward AKRON - go 15.8 mi
5.
Take exit #146/OH-21 onto I-80 EAST - go 46.3 mi
6.
I-80 EAST becomes I-76 EAST - go 51.2 mi
7.
Take exit #28 onto I-79 SOUTH toward PITTSBURGH - go 6.9 mi
8.
Take Left fork onto I-279 SOUTH toward PITTSBURGH - go 11.5 mi
9.
Take exit #8A onto I-579 SOUTH toward VETERANS BRIDGE - go 0.9 mi
10.
Take the 7TH AVENUE/6TH AVENUE exit onto BIGELOW BLVD - go 0.6 mi
11.
Turn Right on 6TH AVE - go <>

The Map on the other hand would tell them, "First, you leave Cleveland and look for the tall building, next you cross over the noisy bridge, and that's how you get to Pittsburgh." THATS IT!!! I'D BE LOST IN 5 SECONDS!!! Honestly, which directions would you pick???

There must be a method to his madness, however, because I've probably seen 50 or so episodes and not once have Dora and Boots gotten lost. In contrast, a couple of years ago I was late for Jaden Beltzman's bris, because Yahoo Driving Directions told me to turn on a street that was no longer there. Score one for The Map--let's move on......

So now, with directions in tow, Dora and Boots are ready to head towards the stadium. You'd think there would be at least some sense of urgency and single mindedness to get there post haste, but NOOOOOO, as expected, that's just not the case. They have plenty of time for singing, dancing, frolicking around and attending to routine problems that the animals in the forest are having (which certainly could be handled without the help of the Almighty Dora and Boots, but whatever). 20 minutes of this absentmindedness goes on, before they finally reach the Soccer Stadium (well done, Map, well done!).

So now I'm thinking, at least maybe I'll see a good sports scene out of this, something comparable to the final scene of Major League. But alas, this particular episode of Dora fails to deliver the goods again. Upon making her way to the field, more time is spent on her getting a jersey and getting the referee's attention, than on the actual playing of the game. So with all these preliminaries finally out of the way, the crowd miraculously still in their seats and not across the street at the bar and Dora's family still glued to the TV, the game is about to begin. There is one problem--now what could it be?? Well, we've been notified that Swiper the Fox has entered the stadium.

Note: For those not familiar with Swiper the Fox, he's kind of like the Darth Vader of the show, albeit with somewhat of a kind streak. His sole purpose is to steal (i.e. "swipe") something of value from Dora, Boots or one of their compatriots on the given episode. He's not swiping because he has a particular interest in the targeted item or for monetary gain. He simply wants to swipe the item and hide it for the sole purpose of being an annoyance. Fortunately for the viewers, Dora is typically able to reclaim the item within 30-60 seconds.

So anyway, Swiper is in the stadium and he's eyeing the soccer ball (as if they don't have extras?). 80,000 plus fans sit captivated while a television audience watches (Where is security during all of this? How did Swiper get into the stadium anyway? Did he have a ticket? I could go on and on....). I'm on the edge of my seat watching to see how this will unfold, when miraculously, Dora prompts the crowd to say the words, "Swiper No Swiping" (this is the antidote to Swiper the Fox's swiping, kind of like Kryptonite to Superman). Crisis averted.

Finally, the game is about to start and I'm going to get the sports scene that I've been longing for. The gun goes off, Daisy quickly passes to Dora, Dora jukes a couple of defenders and kicks the ball past a flailing and overmatched goalie (she's like the Freddy Adu of her hometown). That's it--12 seconds and apparently the game is called so Dora's team can carry her off the field and both teams, the spectators and television viewers alike can collectively do a knockout version of the "We Did It" dance. Game over. Show over.

I feel cheated by this program. Alexis, on the other hand, is gleefully watching on my lap and she couldn't have enjoyed this episode more. Fortunately for me, she'll be talking anytime now and I"ll begin molding her into the Cynical Bastard that I've become. Ahhhh, the circle of life!!!